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River of Life

River of Life – Preface: The Formative Years

Preface

Curious. That’s a term that could describe almost every kind of child as their thoughts and experiences are forming. A curious kid who has several thoughts about the world and about what could be for her future. That curious child liked to dream and loved to be outside staring at the sky or running around in the woods or just simply hanging out in a tree.  The freedom and openness that that brought to that and most children was expansive.  This is part of every human’s radiant true nature in which the essence of every being is spacious openness.

 

“Curiously, people resist the noble aspects of their shadow more strenuously than they hide the dark sides…. It is more disrupting to find that you have a profound nobility of character than to find out you are a bum.”

Robert Johnson

This curiosity was a blessing for this little girl until she realized it is also a curse.  The next part of those very early years started to slowly cover up that innate nature. This little girl wanted to know why things were the way they were. The first time she asked her mother why she wasn’t like her friend’s mom, she realized that that was BIG No-No. Saying that she got “in trouble” for this was a gross an understatement. She got the wrath of her mother and realized that not only was she different then her friend’s mom, but she was also one the little girl started to have to hide from. The curiosity that was so precious in the little girl’s formative years since being out of the womb then bit her in the ass. No longer was curiosity okay. No longer was exploring the world okay. No longer was being creative and questioning okay. No longer was she able to be her natural and authentic self. Instead she learned to cope, to hide, to deny herself, to feel shame, to expect the unexpected and yet still feel on edge. This then shaped how that little girl showed up in the world from then on, always trying to please her mother only to find that nothing was ever right. She was always wrong no matter how perfect she tried to be. The little girl was slowly growing through those years by living in uncertainly each and every day.

 

 

Escaping at any time was the only relief. This escaping happened in many ways and forms. In the physical and most straight-forward form, one of the only places that she felt normal was when she could sit out by a body of water or in nature. Unfortunately, she realized that that was always short-lived and she had to go home at some point. Going home was not “home” at all, it was more of a hell. Coping skills became dangerous and always unfulfilling. This led to so much darkness and so much confusion in those early years.  Again, the future was uncertain, as was the present, and as was the past.

 

“O Nobly Born, O you of glorious origins, remember your radiant true nature, the essence of mind. Trust it. Return to it. It is home.“

Tibetan Book of the Dead

This is the calling that whispered in her ear for years and years, until one day she decided to finally listen.

“If you know how to go back to her and listen carefully every day for five or ten minutes, healing will take place. When you climb a beautiful mountain, invite your child within to climb with you. When you contemplate the sunset, invite her to enjoy it with you.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

 

This is just a small snippet in a series of several stories in my life.  Call it the “preface,” so to speak.  I hope you stick with me through the journey of uncovering the many dips and turns in my river of life.  I will be sharing more through several blog posts as well as providing a series of webinars to discuss the many tools that can be used to successfully find YOUR way back to YOUR original, radiant true nature. 

 

Written by: Dr. Maggie Tudor – Maggie courageously shares her story of trauma, abuse, PTSD, growth & enlightenment to inspire and empower others.    



Managing Stress with EQ

We are constantly searching, reading, exploring and researching new information to help you live Your Life on Your Terms.  Every once in a while, we come across information so amazing that we can only share it in its entirety.  So, from helpguide.org here are some amazing strategies to help you.

Emotional Intelligence Toolkit

Want to become a happier, healthier you? This free program offers tools for managing stress and emotions, improving your relationships, and bringing your life into balance.

What is the toolkit and how does it work?

Have you ever felt like stress, anxiety, depression, or anger was controlling you? Do you often act impulsively, doing or saying things you know you shouldn’t, only to regret it later? Or do you feel disconnected from your feelings and emotionally numb? These can all be signs that you need to work on building your emotional intelligence.

 

By learning to keep stress and emotions in check, you’ll not only improve how you communicate with others, but you’ll also be able to get off the “emotional rollercoaster,” even out extremes in mood, and bring your life into balance. This toolkit will show you how.

 

HelpGuide’s Emotional Intelligence Toolkit is a step-by-step guide that can help you to:

  • Change self-defeating moods and attitudes
  • Quickly manage stress and anxiety
  • Stay connected to what you feel as well as think
  • Follow through on your hopes and dreams

 

Why emotions matter

 

The toolkit is based on the recent transformations that have taken place in the field of psychology. Emotion is now at the heart of clinical theory and is seen as the foundation to psychological change. We also now know that all of our thinking benefits greatly from having an emotional component.

 

As you develop the capacity to better recognize and understand your own emotions, you’ll find it easier to appreciate how others are feeling, improving how you communicate and helping your personal and professional relationships to flourish. And as you bring stress into balance and learn to tolerate even unpleasant emotions, you’ll discover that your capacity for experiencing positive emotions has grown and intensified. You’ll find it easier to play, laugh, and experience joy. No matter how stressed or emotionally out of control you feel now, by drawing on these tools, life can and will get lighter and brighter.

Before we begin learning the skills of emotional intelligence that enable us to override stress and stay healthy and happy, it’s important to first take a look at things we do that can block our ability to acquire new habits.

Step 1: Learn to quickly relieve stress

 

Being able to manage and relieve stress is the key to staying balanced, focused, and in control, no matter what challenges you face in life. As well as helping you cope with day-to-day stressors, employing quick stress relief techniques will also help you bring your nervous system into balance when practicing the meditation part of this toolkit.

 

There are countless techniques for dealing with stress. Talking face-to-face with an understanding friend, exercise, yoga, and meditation, for example, are all great ways to ease stress and anxiety. But it may not be practical (or even possible) to go for a run or meditate when you’re frazzled by your morning commute, stuck in a stressful meeting at work, or fried from another argument with your spouse. For situations like these, you need something more accessible. That’s where quick stress relief comes in.

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Quick Stress Relief

 

The best way to reduce stress quickly is by taking a deep breath and using your senses—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement. By viewing a favorite photo, smelling a specific scent, listening to a favorite piece of music, tasting a piece of gum, or hugging a pet, for example, you can quickly relax and focus yourself. Of course, not everyone responds to each sensory experience in the same way. The key to quick stress relief is to experiment and discover the unique sensory experiences that work best for you.

Step 2: Build emotional intelligence (EQ)

 

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, understand, and use your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress and anxiety, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. When it comes to happiness and success in your relationships, career, and personal goals, EQ matters just as much as the better known, IQ.

 

Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:

 

  1. Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
  2. Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
  3. Social awareness – You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
  4. Relationship management – You’re able to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

 

Many of us are disconnected from our emotions—especially strong emotions such as anger, sadness, fear—because we’ve been taught to try to shut off our feelings. But while you can deny or numb your feelings, you can’t eliminate them. They’re still there, whether you’re aware of them or not. And even unpleasant emotions can have beneficial aspects. Sadness can support emotional healing, for example, fear can trigger life-saving action, and anger can mobilize and inspire. Unfortunately, without being connected to all of your emotions, you can’t manage stress, fully understand your own behavior, or appropriately control how you think and act. But whatever your circumstances or challenges, the skills for improving EQ and managing your emotions can be learned at any time.

Step 3: Practice the Ride the Wild Horse meditation

 

Many of us struggle to manage our emotions. Our feelings can often seem like a wild horse, full of fear and uncontrolled energy. They may cause you to freeze, act out, or shut down—making it difficult to think rationally, causing you to say and do things you later regret. Or you may go to great lengths to avoid difficult emotions by:

 

Distracting yourself with obsessive thoughts, mindless entertainment, and addictive behaviors. Watching television for hours, drinking, gambling, overeating, playing computer games, and compulsively using smartphones or the Internet are common ways to avoid dealing with your feelings.

 

Sticking with one emotional response that you feel comfortable with, no matter what the situation requires. For example, constantly joking around to cover up insecurities or getting angry all the time to avoid feeling sad or anxious.

 

Shutting down or shutting out intense emotions. If you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, you may cope by numbing yourself. You may feel completely disconnected from your emotions, like you no longer have feelings at all.

 

Instead of trying to ignore strong emotions, you can accept and tame them by taking up the reins and learning how to ride them. This is where the Ride the Wild Horse mindfulness meditation comes in. As well as helping you to relax, it also teaches you how to harness all of your emotions—even the uncomfortable or overwhelming ones you’ve been trying to avoid. You’ll learn how to ride out intense emotions, remaining in control of the experience and in control of your behavior.

 

What to expect from the meditations

 

The meditations focus firstly on your breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, and then on your current emotional state.

 

  • If you begin to feel overwhelmed by uncomfortable emotions, use the quick stress relief techniques you learned in Step 1 to bring your nervous system back into balance before continuing.
  • By learning to remain mindful under stress in this way, you’ll be able carry these feelings through into your daily life, even in situations that feel threatening, stressful, or uncomfortable.

Step 4: Continue practicing and enjoy the benefits

 

It’s important to continue practicing the Ride the Wild Horse meditation until you’re able to stay connected to your feelings and remain calm under stress in your daily life. Each time you practice the meditation, you should feel a little more energy and a little more comfortable with your emotional experience. But don’t rush the meditative process. You will absorb more if you move slowly. Take time to notice the small changes that add up to a life change.

 

At the end of each meditation, as you shift your attention away from an exclusively internal focus back onto your everyday concerns, some awareness of what you’re feeling will likely remain with you. This means that you’re integrating the process into your everyday life, which will give you a greater sense of control over your emotions. Of course, learning new skills takes time and effort, especially if your energy is being sapped by depression, anxiety, or other challenges. But if you start small with baby steps undertaken at times of the day when you have the most energy, learning a new skill set can be easier than you think.

 

Practice, practice, practice. The more you repeat the meditations, the more comfortable you will feel with your emotions and the greater change you’ll experience in your thoughts, feelings, and actions. With regular practice, you can actually change your brain in ways that will make you feel more confident, resilient, and in control.

 

Set up predictable challenges. Try practicing your new emotional intelligence skills at predictable times of stress, when the stakes are low. For example, tune into your body while doing household chores or commuting through heavy traffic.

 

Expect setbacks. Don’t lose hope if you backslide into old habits now and then. It happens. Instead of giving up after a setback, vow to start fresh next time and learn from your mistakes.

 

When in doubt, return to your body. If you’re struggling to manage your mood in a tough situation, take a deep breath, and apply quick stress relief.

 

Talk to someone about your experience

 

Try to find a person you can talk to about your experiences with the meditation. What did you learn about yourself? What did you discover about your emotions? Speaking to someone face-to-face will help you retain what you’ve learned.

Frequently Asked Questions

 

How much time do I need to invest in Ride the Wild Horse?

 

It takes about 21 to 28 consecutive days to create a new habit, but if you do the process correctly and often, you’ll experience daily benefits. As you want the process to become second nature to you—so you don’t “forget” to apply the skills in times of extreme stress—it may take a little longer.

 

What should I do if I initially feel something in one part of my body, and a stronger sensation occurs somewhere else?

 

Always follow the intensity. Focus on the strongest sensation you feel.

 

What if I don’t feel anything or I just feel empty?

 

That’s normal. Pay attention to the feeling of having no feeling, or of being numb or empty.

 

I’m getting emotional during the meditation, is that normal?

 

Yes. Releasing repressed feelings can be intense. If you cry, tremble, moan, or make other sounds, remember to breathe deeply and hold your focus. It is okay to experience these emotions—as long as you can calm and focus yourself and feel in control of the process.

 

If after numerous attempts you still feel uncomfortable, it may be an indication of unresolved trauma from your past. Consider consulting a trauma specialist.

 

About this toolkit

 

The Emotional Intelligence Toolkit is based on the empowering life work of HelpGuide’s co-founder, Dr. Jeanne Segal.

 

Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., and Lawrence Robinson. Last updated: January 2019.

https://helpguide.org

Saving Your Marriage

Saving Your Marriage

Saving your marriage even after you have tried therapy, counselling or even retreats can seem hopeless.  I have heard so many people say :…but there’s too much water under the bridge.”  My response is quite simple – as long as we still have a bridge, we can repair your marriage.

The longer your relationship, the more water there will be under that bridge, it’s only natural.  The key is to focus on the bridge and not the water.

End the arguments

Communication is the corner stone of all successful relationships.  The way we speak to each will ultimately make or break a relationship.  It is important to be very aware of how you are speaking to each other.  Words are only a fraction of communication.  Non-verbal cues such as tone, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, proximity and posture are all critical aspects of communication.

 

  • Tone – the tone, volume & pitch of your voice send auditory cues to your recipient. Harsh tones (such as yelling) will create a defensive or fear based response. Much like the a babies cry, we can predict a mood based solely on the tone.
  • Gestures – most frequently, hand gestures will speak volumes. Clenched fists depicts anger or hostility, flailing arms demonstrate excitement.
  • Facial expressions – my kids say I have a “mom look” when I am angry (I have never seen it because I have never run to the mirror in the heat of an argument). My husband agrees that I have a very stern look when I am making a strong point in a conversation. Most commonly, brows are furrowed, lips are pursed & eyes are narrowed. However; the opposite is also true, as you can tell when someone is happy, fearful or focused just by looking at their face.
  • Eye Contact – In western civilization, direct eye contact is a sign of respect and trust. A lack of direct eye contact can sometimes translate to shame, fear or dishonesty.
  • Proximity – We all have a safe bubble of space around us (usually an arms length). Communicating inside this bubble with joy, excitement or feelings of love will be reciprocated as such. Communicating inside the safe zone with anger or hostility will invite either anger or fear.
  • Posture – We also read a lot of information simply from body posture. Head up, shoulders back shows confidence. Arms or legs crossed displays a barrier or lack of interest. Chest puffed out promotes fear or intimidation.

We all read our partners non-verbal cues, but few of us actually pay attention to the cues we are sending.  Think back to the last argument you have with your spouse, were your non-verbal cues in-line with your verbal message?  As the conversation heated up, could you feel your body language changing to match the tone of the conversation?  This is where a conversation escalates to an argument when one person responds to a conversation by either matching the level of anger, or responding in fear.  (If you find yourself responding in fear, please reach out to your local abuse shelter – you should never feel afraid in a relationship).

 

    You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to.

    ~Unknown

     

    The key to ending an argument is to simply not respond in anger.  Do your best to remain calm, or if needed, remove yourself until you can be calm.  Pay very close attention to your own non-verbal cues; relax your posture, maintain appropriate space, facial expressions should project concern or empathy, reduce your gestures and remember to breathe.

    The most common mistakes

    Changing the trajectory of your marriage starts and ends with you!!  If you are reading this, you are part of the problem.  I know that sounds harsh, but it is true.  It takes two to tango is an old expression, but still valid. If you are in a marriage that is struggling, you need to accept 50% of the responsibility. Please note that I did not say blame, I very intently said responsibility and there is a huge difference.   Allow me to explain further in these very common marital mistakes:

     

    • Blame – we point fingers and make accusations.
    • Projection – we hold our spouse accountable for the mistakes of others
    • Internalizing – we take things personally

     

    The “blame game” will never end well.  Be accountable for your part, acknowledge where you went wrong and make amends.  This is the quickest way to get back on the bridge and out of the waters below.  Your spouse may not meet you here initially, but over time it will come.  It needs to start somewhere – it might as well be you.

     

    Often times we project the pain, fear or disappointment from the past onto our spouse.  A past boyfriend cheated on you leaving you with trust issues or your high school crush got drunk at a party and abused you leaving you with a fear of intoxication.  You have stored this information in your memory and our minds are designed to ensure our survival.  Any cues we get that this may be repeated will spark those old emotions, even if you know that your spouse is not the same person, you will still treat them the same way.  This is projection and it will destroy a marriage.  We all have skeletons in our closets.  Try to find a way to openly talk about these skeletons so they no longer have the power to destroy each other.

     

    One of the hardest changes that must be made is internalizing what has been said in an argument or taking everything personally.  Things said in the heat of an argument should not be taken personally.  They are not a reflection of who you are, but a very clear reflection of how your spouse feels about themselves. When the name-calling or the finger pointing begin, listen to what they are saying as if they are speaking about themselves.  This will allow you to respond with empathy instead of anger.

    Healing your marriage

    Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place to give, not a place to take.

    ~Tony Robbins

     

    It is possible to heal your marriage, but first you must be willing to heal yourself.  Growth is an integral part of marriage and you can either grow together, or grow apart.  Choosing to grow together means that each of you takes a look at your own history.  Clean the toxicity, heal the wounds, make amends to remove guilt.  Shine a daily light on the bridge you have built. Be grateful you still have a bridge and appreciate all the water that is under that bridge (as long as the water is under the bridge, you cannot drown).

     

    Healing needs to start somewhere.  As long as you are willing to heal yourself, you will never fail.  If your marriage is salvageable, your partner will soon join you on the journey of self-growth.  You will not grow at the same pace, so please be patient & respectful of each other.

     

    If your partner is unwilling to grow, or does not see any fault in their own actions, it may be time to explore other options.

      What’s next?

      If you are uncertain where to begin your journey of self-discovery, please follow this link to schedule a FREE Power Hour.  We will reconnect you to your inner drive, inspire passion and create possibility in one very short, extremely profound hour!

      You may also schedule a FREE Couples Discovery Session that will help you explore the areas of your marriage that should be enhanced and the areas that may need some TLC.

       

      This is a simplified version of healing your marriage, but it is an excellent start.  If you have questions or simply want to offer feedback, please email us.  We will respond as soon as possible.



      Much love to you on your journey,

      Andrea & Maggie

      Daughter of a Narcissistic Mom

      Daughters of Narcissistic Moms

      Daughter of a Narcissistic Mom

      Narcissistic moms create emotional turmoil for their daughters.

      Our moms nurture our sense of self through their touch, acceptance, understanding, empathy and guidance.  We look up to our moms and use her as a role model for our own lives.  We crave her attention and praise.  We need her understanding, compassion and time.  She protects us from harm, provides shelter and teaches us how to cope when others are cruel.  Her ability to let us know that she understands our fear, confusion, joy and excitement, supports our own feelings, adding value to our self-esteem.

      Emotionally healthy moms raise emotionally healthy daughters.

      Daughters of emotionally strong moms are confident and are usually capable of navigating their way through life.  They have a strong sense of self; they know who they are, what they like and what they are willing to tolerate.  They have respect others, as well as themselves.  Emotionally stable daughters will understand personal boundaries and live within them.  Mom has taught them to have their own, unique set of values and build a life around them.

      Daughters of narcissistic mom are very different.

      These girls lack confidence, have very little self-esteem and are unable to trust their own ability to make decisions.  They feel as though every one is judging them, struggle to make friends and appear to be shy in social situations.  Anxiety and depression are common with girls raised by narcissistic moms.  Because these girls live with uncertainty, they are constantly on the look-out for trouble, desperately trying to avoid it at all costs.  This creates a co-dependency that will dictate the rest of their lives, if they are not able to get help.

      Signs you were raised by a narcissistic mom

      • You frequently second-guess yourself.
      • You wonder if you’ll ever be happy.
      • You don’t trust your judgement & decisions.
      • You find yourself constantly apologizing.
      • You don’t invite your friends to your house.
      • You struggle to concentrate & focus on your school work.
      • You feel like you can’t do anything right.
      • You feel that you just aren’t good enough.
      • You often cancel plans with friends (if you have any).
      • You hide your emotional turmoil from family and friends.

      You have learned to read facial expressions and use these as a marker for your own judgement.  Constant self-doubt and worry prevent you from fully engaging in conversations.  Other people appear to be happy and you know that happiness is only for the lucky ones, and you are not one of them.  Your most common phrase is “I’m sorry.” because you know that no matter what you do, you will have disappointed someone.  School is a serious struggle for you because you are not comfortable in social situations, your mind wanders (worrying about what you did wrong at home that will cause trouble later), you are not able to direct all of your attention to your school work.

      Common behaviours of a narcissistic mom

      • Lack of boundaries
      • Emotionally unavailable
      • Control
      • Manipulation
      • Triangulation
      • Shaming
      • Compete for affection
      • Self-entitlement

      Lack of boundaries – Mom will expect you to respect her personal space and privacy, but will not respect yours.

      Emotionally unavailable – Mom is not a shoulder to cry, vent to or celebrate with.  She will criticize your emotions and make your story about her somehow.

      Control  – You will not be able to make decisions about your future, friends or really anything else.  She will attend and control your doctor’s appointments, your school schedule, extra-curricular activities & hobbies.  She will establish unachievable expectations and chastise you for not living up to her standards. She will not teach you basic life skills (laundry, cooking, cleaning) because you will never be good enough at it.   She may demand that you do these tasks, but without instruction, ultimately setting you up for failure.

      Manipulation – Masters of the guilt trip, “I do everything for you and this is what I get in return?” She will twist your words to suit her and believe that she is being victimized by you.

      Triangulation – She sill make you believe that others agree with her opinions and disagree with yours.  She will complain to family & friends about you, making them believe that you are a horrible child.  This leaves you feeling isolated and allows her to continue to control & manipulate you.

      Shaming – She will compare you to your siblings, her friend’s children or anyone else to point out that they are so much better than you.  You will never measure up to her expectations and she will be more than happy to point that out whenever she gets the chance.

      Competes for affection – She will not allow you to have a close bond with your dad because this will be a threat to her marriage.  She will make sure dad (partner) is on her side and views you the same way she does.

      Self-entitlement – Her emotional needs will always be met before yours. She will claim ownership of your clothes, your room, the food, and everything in the home which will allow her to make ridiculous rules for these items.  Because she owns these things, she can decide when you are deserving of them.

      Can the Damage be Undone?

      Damage is never really undone, however; you can learn from this experience, heal and live a fully functioning, happy life – if you choose to.  As with any trauma, time will be your best friend.

      • Your past is not your fault, your future is your responsibility!
      • Understand that anything your mom said to you was not about you, but a reflection of how she feels about herself.
      • Focus your attention on your inner voice & be kind to you.
      • Take time to get to know the real you – personal interests, likes/dislikes & try new things.
      • Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time.
      • Have faith that with new information & understanding – you will do better in the future.
      • Fall in love with YOU – then find someone who truly loves you just as much!!
      Andrea-Scarborough

      Maggie

      My given name is Margaret but I like to go by Maggie. That’s where it all starts. I figured it out that life is all about what you want and what you need from yourself. A simple nickname shows just that. But that’s not all about me. I suppose I should start from the beginning.

      maggie

      Much like everybody else, my childhood was not perfect. It had some very tumultuous times that affected how I showed up in life as an adult. I moved around a lot as a kid for one of my parents jobs and had to adapt to changing conditions all the time. That included making new friends and being in a continuous state of feeling like I had to prove myself.  Not only that, life within the walls of whatever home I was in was not as it seemed. The one thing that I figured out early on was the fact that I could control a few things: how successful I was either in sports, hobbies, choir, or school.  I thought that would bring me joy and happiness as well as to please everybody around me. While I was really good at being successful in those ways, I found that it was actually not fulfilling at all for me. 

      This all led to many years of searching for something that I wasn’t quite sure what it was, which then led to a lot of bad decisions in choosing relationships, friendships and also finding myself in situations that impacted the rest of my life. Traumatic situations. Not knowing how to deal with these I turned to more destructive patterns of behavior and never really learned about who I was, or how to present myself to the world in a truly genuine way.  Then all of a sudden, I found myself in the city that I wanted to live in, the perfect job, and by all accounts from an outsider’s perspective the perfect life. 

      1223181533

      That might have seemed great, but for some reason I felt so empty and alone with not many relationships or that partner in life that I yearned for.  I felt lost. That was when it happened; I was in a desperate situation with another toxic partner and I knew that it was now finally time for me to take control of my own life.  I didn’t exactly know how this was going to happen but there was some kind of pull that told me I had had enough.  It was not an easy road but it needed to be done in order to live my best life.  At first I thought that might have been selfish of me, but then I realized that I have to get myself right in order to show up in the world for others the way I so deeply wanted to.

      • maggie
      • 1223181533
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      Truth Seeking

      After some searching, reading a lot of articles, going to several therapists (I actually did this throughout my earlier life as well), I determined that there were some main areas in my life that were lacking (with the help of a coach – THIS WAS IT!). For me personally, those areas were relationships and connecting to others, finding something that was intellectually stimulating, and improving my spiritual side. Those were my three tasks and boy was I determined.

      After close to a year of working hard on these three areas I found myself on the other side of any despair, worry, anxiety, depression, and all of those other nasty terms that we like to put on ourselves.  Instead, I was taking control of my life and realizing that nothing in this world can control me.  I can only control myself and my own emotions.  All of these things that I thought where making me feel down or sad or mad were not really doing anything.  It was all me.  I learned that the only suffering that is in my life is caused by myself and my mind.  Sure, things bad happen in life, but good things do too.  I am now able to ride that wave with sincerity and compassion to keep myself on the middle way.  That makes life quite simple and extremely fulfilling no matter the situation in front of me.

      Now I am bound and determined to help other people live their best life as well. I have life experience (along with the educational background) to help others help themselves and get rid of unnecessary suffering in their lives. I know that some of you reading this or are thinking at this point that there is no way that you can do the same thing; I thought that too. All it takes is a little trust and a gentle compassion for yourselfand everything is at your fingertips. It is all right there!  All you might need is a little push or even just someone to draw the curtain back for you to see your worth and ability to be in this world the way you deserve. Some of my specialties include working with spirituality, trauma, depression and anxiety, and just everyday life in general. That includes how you relate to yourself, others, and the world. Come with me on this beautiful journey!

      Join me,