My given name is Margaret but I like to go by Maggie. That’s where it all starts. I figured it out that life is all about what you want and what you need from yourself. A simple nickname shows just that. But that’s not all about me, it’s also about the relationships we have with others. I suppose I should start from the beginning.
Much like everybody else, my childhood was not perfect. It had some very tumultuous times that affected how I showed up in life as an adult. I moved around a lot as a kid for one of my parent’s jobs and had to adapt to changing conditions all the time. That included making new friends and being in a continuous state of feeling like I had to prove myself. Not only that, life within the walls of whatever home I was in was not as it seemed. The one thing that I figured out early on was the fact that I could control a few things: how successful I was either in sports, hobbies, choir, or school. I thought that would bring me joy and happiness as well as to please everybody around me. While I was really good at being successful in those ways, I found that it was actually not fulfilling at all for me.
Trying to be an adult
This all led to many years of searching for something that I wasn’t quite sure what it was, which then led to a lot of bad decisions in choosing relationships, friendships and also finding myself in situations that impacted the rest of my life. Traumatic situations. Not knowing how to deal with these I turned to more destructive patterns of behavior and never really learned about who I was, or how to present myself to the world in a truly genuine way. Then all of a sudden, I found myself in the city that I wanted to live in, the perfect job, and by all accounts from an outsider’s perspective the perfect life.
That might have seemed great, but for some reason I felt so empty and alone with not many relationships or that partner in life that I yearned for. I felt lost. That was when it happened; I was in a desperate situation with another toxic partner and I knew that it was now finally time for me to take control of my own life. I didn’t exactly know how this was going to happen but there was some kind of pull that told me I had had enough. It was not an easy road but it needed to be done in order to live my best life. At first I thought that might have been selfish of me, but then I realized that I have to get myself right in order to show up in the world for others the way I so deeply wanted to.
After some searching, reading a lot of articles, going to several therapists (I actually did this throughout my earlier life as well), I determined that there were some main areas in my life that were lacking (with the help of a coach – THIS WAS IT!). For me personally, those areas were relationships and connecting to others, finding something that was intellectually stimulating, and improving my spiritual side. Those were my three tasks and boy was I determined.
After close to a year of working hard on these three areas; I found myself on the other side of any despair, worry, anxiety, depression, and all of those other nasty terms that we like to put on ourselves.
Instead, I was taking control of my life and realizing that nothing in this world can control me. I can only control myself and my own emotions. All of these things that I thought where making me feel down or sad or mad were not really doing anything. It was all me. I learned that the only suffering that is in my life is caused by myself and my mind. Sure, things bad happen in life, but good things do too. I am now able to ride that wave with sincerity and compassion to keep myself on the middle way. That makes life quite simple and extremely fulfilling no matter the situation in front of me.
Now I am bound and determined to help other people live their best life as well. I have life experience (along with the educational background) to help others help themselves and get rid of unnecessary suffering in their lives. Some of you reading this or are thinking at this point that there is no way that you can do the same thing; I thought that too. All it takes is a little trust and a gentle compassion for yourself, and everything is at your fingertips. It is all right there! All you might need is a little push or even just someone to draw the curtain back for you to see your worth and ability to be in this world the way you deserve.
Some of my specialties include working with spirituality, trauma, depression and anxiety, and just everyday life in general. That includes how you relate to yourself, others, and the world. Come with me on this beautiful journey!
Have you struggled with relationships? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or contact me to chat further.