It dawned on me the other day, that I have made it my life’s mission to be rescued. My sister rescued me when I was 6 months old. CAS rescued us from the harsh. cold winter at nine months old. Adoption rescued me at the age of 15 months. My abusive husband rescued me from my abusive mother, an abusive boyfriend rescued me from my abusive husband. I have been rescued financially, emotionally, physically and I have never rescued myself.
I believe that our programming starts right at birth. The events or traumas we endure, shape who we live our lives, how we make decisions, the people we choose to surround ourselves with and the success we achieve.
Needing to a Rescue
I am grateful, everyday that my sister, who was only 22 months old at the time, had enough wits about her to pull me out from underneath our mom. Mom was 40 years old and was feeding me my lunch time bottle at the kitchen table, when she suffered a massive heart-attack and dropped to the floor, landing on top of me. My sister was the only other person home at the time, and she pulled me out and saved my life. I also believe that this event programmed my sister to always need to take care of me. You see, following Mom’s death, we were left with our 2 older sisters, Kathy & Brenda who were 12 & 13. Everyday, they would wrap us up in blankets and set us on the front step of our London, Ontario home as they went to school. My sister, Janice never left my side. Do you know a 2-year-old that would sit there day after day for 3 months and not run off? Me either.
Eventually, we were rescued by the Children’s Aid Society & placed up for adoption. According to the reports, life in foster care was not glorious. Again, Janice was there with me every step of the way.
We were adopted into what appeared to be a loving home, but that was only half the truth. Dad was a kind, loving man. Mom was a narcissist. Again, Janice would rescue me from the emotional outbursts or explosive anger. She took the fall every time!!
I got married when I was 20 and had my first daughter a year later. Fatherhood was not in the cards for my husband and he began to show his true colours. By age 22 I was a single mom. It wasn’t until much later that I realized I married the first man who paid me any kind of attention and used that to flee the emotional abuse at home. What I didn’t know was that the emotional abuse was almost better than the physical abuse in my marriage.
Soon after the demise of my marriage, I was swept off my feet by a man who said & did all the right things. He was kind, generous and believed in me. A couple years later, my second daughter arrived and again, the true colours came shing through. This time it was all emotional abuse. Again, I had found myself a narcissist and he widdled me down to a shell of my existence. Narcissists are quite crafty in the abuse structure and I fell for it hard!!! It took me 11 years to get away this time. As I reflected back, he rescued me from the on-going torment of my ex-husband.
I firmly believe that the Universe forces us to pay attention to life’s lessons. The Universe saw that I wasn’t paying attention and it put me on a time out. I broke my neck and had to lay flat on my back with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and reflect on my life. This was the catalyst for my 11-year relationship to end. It was time for me to rescue myself. So, after a year of incredible pain, I forced myself off the couch, kicked the idiot to the curb and struggled to find my footing as a single mom again.
Life was rolling along gloriously. I was working, and we were doing great!! Or so I thought. At the age of 14, my oldest daughter was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism. This rocked me to my core. I was so focused on her that I didn’t notice that my younger daughter was struggling with her mental health. I spent the next 10 years fighting to keep both my children this side of the grass. One daughter with life-threatening medical health issues and the other with life-threatening mental health issues. We were not rolling along gloriously. We were not rolling at all!!
If you’ve ever had a child with mental health issues so strong that self-harm and thoughts of suicide are daily struggle for them, you know that they are just as much a struggle for you too. I dove headfirst into research for her. I had to rescue her from herself. What I learned from that research, shocked me.
The reason I was unable to rescue my daughter from herself, was because I had never learned to rescue myself. My sub-conscious brain kept telling me that someone would come rescue me from the hell that I was in. I had unknowingly taught this to my daughters. Something had to change. I had to change.
Once again, I was rescued. The man I now call my husband decided to come along for the ride on this new journey of self-discovery. He has helped me find myself, love my self and taught me how to rescue myself. Through watching me, both my daughters have learned to rescue themselves.
My Greatest Lesson
My greatest lesson as a parent is “it is not our job to rescue our children. It is our job to teach them how to rescue themselves.” Today, my family is happy, healthy & vibrant. We have broken the cycle of abuse by learning to rescue ourselves.
I have learned how to rescue myself. I have learned how to believe in my ability to rescue myself. I still revert to needing to be rescued, but that doesn’t last for long these days.
So, learn how to be our own hero. Learn how to save yourself from YOU. You have the power, the skills, the knowledge and the wisdom to rescue yourself!!! You have the power to reprogram your sub-conscious mind.
I have complied all my years of research, trial & error into a highly successful Life Coaching Career. I will help you rescue yourself!! We all need a Hero that will save us from ourselves, and I will teach you how to be that for yourself!!
Be your own Hero. I am the greatest Hero I have ever had!!
Change Your Life Today!!
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Expect Miracles, Andrea