If you think your life sucks, you’re probably right. If you think everyone is out to get you, you may be right on that too. If you feel you deserve more or better – you are 100% right!! Maybe you don’t believe you deserve everything you want to achieve!!
Here’s the problem
You have the power, the means, the wisdom and the experience to live the life you know you want to live. The only problem is that you are convinced you don’t deserve it. This belief is so deeply rooted, that you actually self-sabotage without even knowing it!!
Yes, you are the only reason why you are not living the life you want to live!! It’s not your partner’s fault. Your boss it not to blame. It’s time to stop blaming your parents. It’s time to take a long, hard look in the mirror. The truth is – you are the only one to blame!!!
Maybe you’re wanting a better job, but you can come up with a hundred and one reasons why now is not the time to start looking for something else. Or maybe, you feel you need to up-grade your education, but feel you aren’t smart enough, so you don’t.
You look at other relationships and silently think “I wish I could have that”, but you stick with what you’ve got because you know that this is as good as you’re going to get.
A Hawaiian vacation sounds perfect, but you can’t do it because you don’t have the money, you can’t afford to take that much time off work, your parents need you, or you convince yourself that flying isn’t safe.
If you want something, you will either find a way or you will find an excuse.
Excuses are what prevents you from living your best life!!! But where do all these excuses come from and why are they so easy?
Somewhere, along the line, you have been told you’re not smart enough, you can’t _____ or you shouldn’t _____. All of these negative messages eventually become our identity. We learn to live down to the expectations that have been set for us.
Growing up in poverty – increases your chances of remaining in poverty.
Growing up in abuse, increase your chances of living in abuse.
You get the idea. The norms that are created for us early in life, shape the life we unconsciously create later in life. We live in line with the experiences we believe to be true. Many of us don’t even consider challenging the status quo. We just follow along like little sheep, even when your experience tells us that we are walking into danger.
Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t, you are right.Henry Ford
Mr Ford was right. It’s all a matter of what we believe. The secret that no one will tell you is that beliefs are not carved in stone. Beliefs can be shifted. They simply are a compilation of your past experiences that you are applying to your current experiences. So how do we shift a belief?
Understand that You’re in the Way.
Let me put it in really simple terms. You don’t still wear the clothes you wore when you were a child. As your body grew, your wardrobe shifted with this growth. So why are you still wearing the beliefs you had as a child? Shouldn’t those shift as you grow too?
Shouldn’t you start to examine some of these beliefs? Try them on, see if they still fit who you are today?
So Where do you start?
Here’s what I know to be true about you:
- You are strong – You have survived 100% of your worst days!! You can & will survive more!!
- You are relentless – so many times, the people in your life have tried to break you, but here you are. Still standing, still dreaming, still trying.
- You are brilliant – you can see a problem and make adjustments to resolve the issue before anyone knows it’s an issue!! You have exceptional problem solving skills!!
- You are independent – you have learned how to rely on yourself and you inspire others to do the same.
Believe that your life taught you everything you need to know to be the person you want to be!!! Believe that you are strong enough to take the first step, relentless enough to try again, smart enough to know when to quit and independent enough to know what you truly want.
In short – believe in you!! You will never have the life you want if you believe you don’t deserve it.
You are your own worst enemy; you are the only one standing in the way of your dreams, your goals and your success!!
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About the Author
Andrea has survived narcissistic abuse in a variety of forms; mother, 2 long-term relationships and several employers. She has learn how to overcome the negative effects of abuse to live a full life surrounded with love & encouragement. As a Life/Empowerment Coach, she works with women who have a strong desire to heal the devastating wounds of abuse and learn to live Your Life on Your Terms. She currently shares her life with her husband and 2 daughters on a farm in Southwestern Ontario.