Core Values are a person’s principles or standards of behavior; their judgment of what is important in life.

What are your Core Values? How do you figure out what your Core Values are? Why would you even waste your time trying to figure them out?

Those that stand for something, have a level of expectation for themselves and those around them. They believe in things like self-respect, honesty, accountability and compassion, to name a few. Having these beliefs allows you to behave in a way that aligns with them, practice safe personal boundaries, and choose friends that will inspire and encourage you to be the best you can be.

Those that do not understand their Core Values will fall for anything. Lack of respect for themselves, or others usually results in feeling as though they are a victim because they lack accountability for their actions. They choose the easy, fun friends and avoid the “hard” work and feel that life is and always will be a struggle.

Life is not supposed to be a Struggle.

If your life is a struggle, maybe you need to re-evaluate what is truly important. Life presents you with challenges, or life lessons as I stated before. Some of these lessons are difficult and some of them hurt. But, if you take the time to understand your Core Values, these struggles will start to appear not as struggles, but as lessons. You will begin to learn from them, see where you can make improvements, and slowly step forward.

Some of my Core Values are:

• Agency: to choose how I live and behave and help others do likewise; to be self-supportive and choose my own way of doing things.
• Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others
• Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others
• Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others
• Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking
• Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings, and actions

It is very important to me that I choose how I live my life. I will always support others to do the same. Connection heals. I need to feel connected to my family, my friends and my community. I must also be sure they feel a connection to me. Contribution is important to me, as is reciprocity. We must give in order to receive and we must be able to receive in order to freely give. Honesty has always been important to me because so many times in my life it wasn’t there. Self-awareness and accountability are what I strive for in every situation.

Core Values are quite simple.

Choose the 10 most important Core Values, from the list below:

1. Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, life, etc.
2. Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences
3. Agency: to choose how I live and behave and help others do likewise; to be self-supportive and choose my own way of doing things.
4. Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want
5. Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, and real; to be true to myself
6. Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture, or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the environment, etc.
7. Caring: to be caring toward myself, others, the environment, etc.
8. Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, and improve
9. Compassion: to act with kindness toward those who are suffering
10. Conformity: to be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations
11. Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others
12. Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others
13. Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others
14. Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty
15. Creativity: to be creative or innovative
16. Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded, and interested; to explore and discover
17. Encouragement: to encourage and reward behavior that I value in myself or others
18. Equality: to treat others as equal to myself, and vice versa
19. Excitement: to seek, create, and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating, or thrilling
20. Fairness: to be fair to myself or others
21. Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and well-being
22. Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances
23. Forgiveness: to be forgiving toward myself or others
24. Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise
25. Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable toward others
26. Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities
    Notes:
27. Generosity: to be generous, sharing, and giving, to myself or others
28. Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others, and life
29. Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others
30. Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves
31. Humor: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life
32. Impact: to exert myself into the universe in a way I believe is important. I work for what I want, not what others want from me.
33. Independence: to be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things
34. Industry: to be industrious, hard-working, and dedicated
35. Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself — emotionally or physically — in my close personal relationships
36. Justice: to uphold justice and fairness
37. Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing, or caring toward myself or others
38. Love: to act lovingly or affectionately toward myself or others
39. Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience
40. Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from others’ points of view, and weigh evidence fairly
41. Order: to be orderly and organized
42. Patience: to wait calmly for what I want
43. Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties
44. Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others
45. Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g., taking charge, leading, organizing
46. Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking
47. Respect: to be respectful toward myself or others; to be polite, be considerate, and show positive regard
48. Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions
49. Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection
50. Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others
51. Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings, and actions
52. Self-care: to look after my health and well-being, and get my needs met
53. Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals
54. Self-development: to keep growing, advancing, or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience.
55. Sensuality: to create, explore, and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses
56. Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality
57. Skillfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully when using them
    
58. Soul in the Game: I believe it is an ethical concern that I put my money and time where my mouth is, that I have no divorce between what I preach and my lifestyle. I believe the highest form of ethics is to take on risk for others.
59. Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself
60. Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others
61. Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable
62. Insert your own value here.
    

My Top 10 Core Values

Once you have your top 10, use those words to create your own standard of personal ethics, or rules to live by.

Some mental health issues are a result of trying to live your life by the expectations others have set for you. By creating your own list of Core Values, you are learning to set your own expectations and create a life you are fully free to live in. Setting your own standards will reduce anxiety, depression & stress.

Your new list of Core Values is a list of your rules to live by.

• Print & post your Values in a place where you will be reminded daily.
• Refer to your list during times of stress, overwhelm, anxiety or depression.
• Apply your values to situations you encounter:

Someone at work has spoken about you behind your back. Usually this would stress you out, anger you or cause you to spiral inwards. Apply your Core Values:

Acceptance – understand that this person also has a story of grief or shame & is unable to fully accept their own issues.
Forgiveness – forgive the gossip because you are aware of the truth.

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Inspiration

Kindness – perhaps this person truly needs a friend
Be Patient

Like anything new, living your life by your own expectations is a little scary and foreign. It will take time to fully integrate this new practice into your daily life.

If you are struggling with one or more of your values, consider reviewing your list and making some changes. This is your life & these are your rules; you can rewrite them as often as you need to ensure it reflects exactly who you wish to be.

I want you to head over to our Facebook Group – Anxiety Support and tell us about a situation where you have felt uncomfortable. You can either request assistance with finding your boundaries, or you can share what you have learned and how you have implemented your own boundary to resolve the situation.

• Understanding Codependency
• Why You Should Know & Live By Your Core Values
• The Universe is Speaking to You
• I’m Sorry – The 5 R’s of Apology
• How to Increase Your Happiness