Four Steps to Building Your Life on Your Terms

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Building your life doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out, complicated process. It’s very similar to building a home; the same elements are required.

Building Your Life on Your Terms

To build a home, you start with a solid foundation, then you add a frame or structure, clad the exterior & add a roof and the final step is decorating. It is really that simple, but how does that apply to building your own life? Follow along and I will explain it all!


Everything stable starts with a solid foundation. This foundation includes your Core Beliefs, your Values and the expectations you have for yourself.

Most of us grow up with expectations set out for us. Rules that others (usually parents) have created.

  • You need to focus on an education
  • You need to get a job
  • You need to “suck it up”
  • You need to follow family traditions (join the military, work in the family business, have a large family, etc…)
  • You need to make others happy first.

The list of “you need” is endless, exhausting and anxiety inducing. If there is anything on this list that doesn’t truly feed your soul, you will get anxious when trying to complete this task. We all know the signs & symptoms of anxiety. Over time, anxiety spreads like a virus and eventually, every task becomes overwhelming.

This anxiety is a very clear sign that you are trying to live someone else’s life. You are not living the life you were designed to live.

Creating a clear vision of who you are is the first step to reducing your anxiety. Your life has taught you a very unique set of skills and created a deeper level of understanding. This wisdom is where you begin to discover your Core Values. Follow this link to get started on your Core Values right now, but be sure to come back here to finish building your life.


Now that we have started to secure our foundation, we should start to think about the structure that is going to hold everything together.

A house in it’s simplest form has 4 walls. These are the exterior walls and all the good stuff happens inside them. So let’s create 4 Goals that will helps us map out a successful first year in your new home.

Goals are such an interesting concept. Everybody talks about goals, but have you ever learned how to actually create goals that are achievable?

There are several steps to creating attainable goals:

  • Know your goal & be specific. What are you hoping to achieve?
  • What do you need to HAVE to achieve the goal? Money, passport, education, support?
  • What do you need to DO to achieve this goal? Alter your diet, create a resume, apply to school, join a group or team?
  • Who will help you achieve your goal? Family, friend, co-worker, professional?
  • How will you know that you have achieved your goal? How will you feel, what will you have, what will you know?
  • What are the tiny little steps you need to complete everyday to get you closer to your goal?

Who will help you achieve your goal?

This is mapping out your goal. Be very specific. Create 4 Goals that can be achieved in 1 year.

  • Personal – this is almost like a “Bucket List”. Think of something you have always wanted to do? What can you check off your Bucket List this year? Travel, learn a skill, join a group or team?
  • Professional – How will you advance or change your career in 1 year? Do you need to upgrade your education, take a course, gain a certification, upgrade your resume, or switch companies?
  • Health – how can you improve your health in 1 year? Break a habit (smoking, drinking), join a gym, change your diet, seek support?
  • Financial – how will you change your current financial situation in 1 year? Earn more money, save money, downsize, break a habit?

Our Team is available to help you understand what you want to achieve and create a detailed map to ensure your success.

Protection from the Elements

What good is a house, if it doesn’t protect you from rain, snow cold or heat? A house is clad with wood or bricks, has windows, doors and a leak-proof roof. All of these elements work simultaneously to shelter you from the harmful effects that Mother Nature has been known to throw at you.

So what protects you from potential threats of harm as you travel through life? Our greatest defence against the harmful effects of life is relationships. Solid, loving, supportive & nurturing relationships. Surrounding yourself with the right people.

As humans, we were designed to live in colonies or communities. These communities are supposed to protect us from harm. I will be the first to admit that not all colonies offer effective defence against the trials of life, but it is possible to create your circle of care.

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something; they’re trying to find someone who will make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place to give, not a place to receive.

Tony Robbins

So, what do you have to offer in a relationship? Before entering (or exiting) a relationship we should probably do a little self-analysis.

  • Are you looking for someone who can fill a void? Someone who will make you happy?
  • Are you looking for stability?
  • Are you looking for financial security?
  • Are you looking for a co-parent your children?

Do you have your basic needs met?

  • Do you have safe shelter, enough sleep, clothing & food?
  • Do you have a sense of safety, security & protection?
  • Do you have people who love you & accept you just as you are?
  • Do you love, accept and truly appreciate who you are?
  • Do you have the means for self-growth, development & change?

If you answered YES to all of the above questions, then you are ready for a happy, healthy relationship. If you got stuck on one or more, then you should probably work on YOU before you try to explore a relationship.

Reach out for support, if you feel you need to enhance any of the 5 areas of your life.

Moving In

Now that you have built a solid foundation, created structure and built your means of protection, it’s time to finally move in!!

Throughout this process, you should have gained a clearer understanding of who you are, what you want, what you need and who will support you. Let’s put all of this together and create a very powerful, profoundly honest Mission Statement.

This statement is like a shingle you hang on your front door, an indication of what visitor can expect when they walk inside.

Your statement looks like this:

I see, feel, hear & know that I am __________ because I ______________________!

In the first blank space goes an adjective that best describes who you are. Go back to your Core Values and pick 1 that truly resonates with you. The second blank space is how you know this is true. You have survived, persevered, helped others, fought for change, inspired action. Whatever you have accomplished in your life, is now the theme for who you are today!!

That’s it. Short, sweet & to the point. We have cleared out all the other stuff that bogs you down and discourages your progress.

Build a foundation, add some structure, re-enforce with protection and decorate. Your Life on Your Terms!

Please click on EVENTS for more information

We know that sometimes you need a little support or guidance to work through tasks such as this. We have put all of this into a 1 day workshop that is powerful & life altering!! Please click on EVENTS for a workshop near you.

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