My name is Tina.
This is my Phoenix Story.
I was adopted at the age of 9 into a loving family. Life before that was crazy, unstable and scary. My birth mother struggled with addiction, she was abusive and neglectful. As a young child desperately trying to be loved by my mother, I tried everything to make her happy, make her love me. As an adult, I now see this was pointless, but I also see that these habits became ingrained in me and I have spent my entire life trying to make others happy.
My adopted family is an amazing group of people. They are kind, loving and supportive. It was a huge culture shock for me in the beginning because I only knew chaos. Stability was foreign to me. My natural survival instinct was to make others happy, I followed the rules, I did my chores and would do anything to ensure I was loved! For the first time in my life it was actually working. This new family loved me! This was thirty years ago, and there weren’t the same supports & education back then. The idea then was to remove the child from the chaos and place them in a supportive environment and love would fix everything. Love did fix a lot, but it didn’t fix everything. I was so good at making others happy, that no-one thought to teach me how to make me happy.
I am currently on my third marriage and I am beginning to see that regardless of the love my adoptive family gave me, I have always gravitated towards chaos. I have been comfortable there. I can plan, predict, fix and heal others. I believe this is the definition of co-dependency.
Here’s where my story changes.
I am going to finally figure out how to make me happy. I am going to learn about me. What I like, don’t like, need & want.
I have had hopes & dreams, but they were all centred around my family, my children. I’m going to create some new dreams, just for me.
I am going to be happy, in my own way, on my own terms. I am finally at a place where those that choose to celebrate MY happiness, will come along on my journey, and those that don’t, won’t. And I am OK with that!!!
My name is Tina, I will be happy. Everything else will just fall into place.
Andrea was kind enough to donate her time to help me see that I am worth celebrating and I need to make ME happy.
I’d love for you to share in this experience as well. I encourage you to book your FREE Session, you’ll be amazed with the results!