Core Values

Core Values

Core Values are a person’s principles or standards of behavior; their judgment of what is important in life.

What are your Core Values? How do you figure out what your Core Values are? Why would you even waste your time trying to figure them out?

What are your Core Values? How do you figure out what your Core Values are? Why would you even waste your time trying to figure them out?

You have to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.

~unknown

Those that stand for something, have a level of expectation for themselves and those around them. They believe in things like self-respect, honesty, accountability and compassion, to name a few. Having these beliefs allows you to behave in a way that aligns with them and also practise safe personal boundaries,  choose friends that will inspire and encourage you to be the best you can be.

Those that do not understand their Core Values will fall for anything. Lack of respect for themselves, or others usually results in feeling as though they are a victim because they lack accountability for their actions. They choose the easy, fun friends and skip class, break curfew, miss assignments at school, and feel that life is and always will be a struggle.

Definition
Common Core Values

If your life is a struggle, maybe you need to re-evaluate your what’s truly important. Life presents you with challenges, or life lessons. Some of these lessons are difficult and some of them hurt. But, if you take the time to understand your Core Values, these struggles will start to appear not as struggles, but as lessons. You will begin to learn from them, see where you can make improvements, and slowly step forward.

Core Values are quite simple.

Choose the 10 most important Core Values, from the list below:

  1. Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, life, etc.
  2. Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences
  3. Agency: to choose how I live and behave and help others do likewise; to be self-supportive and choose my own way of doing things.
  4. Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want
  5. Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, and real; to be true to myself
  6. Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture, or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the environment, etc.
  7. Caring: to be caring toward myself, others, the environment, etc.
  8. Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, and improve
  9. Compassion: to act with kindness toward those who are suffering
  10. Conformity: to be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations
  11. Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others
  12. Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others
  13. Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others
  14. Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty
  15. Creativity: to be creative or innovative
  16. Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded, and interested; to explore and discover
  17. Encouragement: to encourage and reward behavior that I value in myself or others
  18. Equality: to treat others as equal to myself, and vice versa
  19. Excitement: to seek, create, and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating, or thrilling
  20. Fairness: to be fair to myself or others
  21. Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and well-being
  22. Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances
  23. Forgiveness: to be forgiving toward myself or others
  24. Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise
  25. Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable toward others
  26. Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities
  27. Generosity: to be generous, sharing, and giving, to myself or others
  28. Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others, and life
  29. Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others
  30. Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves
  31. Humor: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life
  32. Impact: to exert myself into the universe in a way I believe is important. I work for what I want, not what others want from me.
  33. Independence: to be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things
  34. Industry: to be industrious, hard-working, and dedicated
  35. Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself — emotionally or physically — in my close personal relationships
  36. Justice: to uphold justice and fairness
  37. Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing, or caring toward myself or others
  38. Love: to act lovingly or affectionately toward myself or others
  39. Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience
  40. Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from others’ points of view, and weigh evidence fairly
  41. Order: to be orderly and organized
  42. Patience: to wait calmly for what I want
  43. Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties
  44. Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others
  45. Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g., taking charge, leading, organizing
  46. Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking
  47. Respect: to be respectful toward myself or others; to be polite, be considerate, and show positive regard
  48. Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions
  49. Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection
  50. Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others
  51. Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings, and actions
  52. Self-care: to look after my health and well-being, and get my needs met
  53. Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals
  54. Self-development: to keep growing, advancing, or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience.
  55. Sensuality: to create, explore, and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses
  56. Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality
  57. Skillfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully when using them
  58. Soul in the Game: I believe it is an ethical concern that I put my money and time where my mouth is, that I have no divorce between what I preach and my lifestyle. I believe the highest form of ethics is to take on risk for others.
  59. Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself
  60. Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others
  61. Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable
  62. Insert your own value here.

Note: This list was originally sourced from thehappinesstrap.com

Once you have your top 10, use those words to create your own standard of personal ethics, or rules to live by.

Live Your Life on Your Terms

Some mental health issues are a result of trying to live your life by the expectations others have set for you.  By creating your own list of Core Values, you are learning to set your own expectations and create a life you are fully free to live in.  Setting your own standards will reduce anxiety, depression & stress.

What to do with your Core Values

Your new list of Core Values are a list of your rules to live by.

  • Print & post your Values in a place where you will be reminded daily.
  • Refer to your list during times of stress, overwhelm, anxiety or depression.
  • Apply your values to situations you encounter:

Someone at work has spoken about you behind your back.  Usually this would stress you out, anger you or cause you to spiral inwards.  Apply your Core Values:

Acceptance – understand that this person also has a story of grief or shame & is unable to fully accept their own issues.

Forgiveness – forgive the gossip because you are aware of the truth.

Kindness – perhaps this person truly needs a friend

Be Patient

Like anything new, living your life by your own expectations is a little scary and foreign.  It will take time to fully integrate this new practice into your daily life.

If you are struggling with one or more of your values, consider reviewing your list and making some changes.  This is your life & these are your rules; you can rewrite them as often as you need to ensure it reflects exactly who you wish to be.

What’s next?

Congratulations on wanting to create a life on your terms!!  I know (from personal experience) that starting this new chapter can be daunting.  Here are a few additional resources to ensure your success:

  • Journaling – learn to journal your thoughts & life’s events to help you process the information in line with your new Core Values.
  • Teach my Children – teaching your children to set their own core values will go along way to reducing bullying, ensuring future success as well as incorporating valuable coping skills.
  • I need help! – Schedule a very powerful 1 hour chat to discover your authentic self!!  Answer 12 simple questions & experience a life-altering session that will help you uncover your truest self!!
  • I don’t know where to start – choose from a variety of services to help you get started.
  • Find a Tribe of Women on a Mission – Join a group of women on this journey who will support, encourage & empower you to explore the best version of YOU!

I sincerely hope you found value in reading this post.  Please leave a comment below of you Care Values.  We’d love to hear how this helped you.

We wish you success on your new journey.  Please let us know if we can help in any way.  <3

Your Life on Your Terms

26 Years of Parenting

parenting

As of today, I have been a parent for 26 years.  Most of those were good, actually all the years were good, but we sure did have some rough moments.  Let me take some time to review a few of our struggles now that time has put them into perspective.parenting

Croup – there is not a parent in the world who wants to deal with this one.  Your tiny little baby is so sick.  Leaving her in a croup tent for a week, just about killed me!!!

Asthma – probably should have seen this one coming.  Other than a few misguided supply staff at school this wasn’t a big one.  Just the odd trip to emerg for a quick treatment and we were good again.

Rockin John – your imaginary friend.  Not sure where he came from, but he lived under the stairs and you loved hanging out with him.

Sister – you were skilled at tormenting your sister.  I’m not sure how many times I had to rescue her from the clothes dryer….come to think of it…I should have seen this one coming too – I vaguely remember lifting the lid to the toilet at 3 am and having a very pissed off cat jump out at me…..

Pulmonary Embolism – this was the worst.  I was never so scared.  But you were a trooper, took it all in stride…

High School – had I known, I probably would have sent you to an all girls school….

Driving – you were so happy when you bought your car, you were never home.  You were everyone’s chauffeur….until you weren’t…

Car Accident – “you hit a mailbox, took out 7 trees,  jumped a fence and did a barrel roll in your car and lived to tell the tale…”  Please don’t do this one again….

Concussion Collection – the next few years were interesting….I’m glad you are finally receiving recognition for the symptoms.  Try collecting stamps…

Boyfriends – some were abusive, some were just idiots and a couple of them were really nice guys.  I kinda like the one you have now, he’s my fav so far…

College – I am so proud of you for choosing a career path that suits your nature and desire to work with people!!!

parenting26 years and we’re both still alive.  I have never been more proud of you (I know I say that every year, but honestly you amaze me time and time again!!!)

Here’s the point of my story, parenting, in the moment, is difficult, confusing, heartbreaking and gut-wrenching; but when you look back on all of it, the pain, the suffering and the heart ache melt into love, pride, admiration and the realization that all those tiny moments, were just pieces of a greater puzzle that is creating the most beautiful memories.

Hang in there parents, it will all be worth it.

If your family is struggling to adjust to or accept some of life’s hurdles, I can help you all get “Back On Track“.

Loads of Love

<3 Andrea

What is the most outrageous thing your child ever did?  Leave a comment below.

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Surviving Life with a Teenager

Surviving Life with a Teenager

Back when we were teens

Twenty-five – thirty years ago, the world was a different place.  The internet was in it’s infancy, cellphones were massive & usually installed in your car and satellite dishes were just making their way into homes (or backyards).  Kids played outside with their friends and were involved in after-school programs, community groups and sports teams.  At home, there were chores to help out around the house.  In high school, you had a part-time job with the responsibility of getting there unsupervised.  School projects were researched in the library using a very heavy set of Encyclopedia’s and pictures cut out of magazines (cut & paste had a much different definition).  If there was a question to be answered, you had to go find an adult.   Back in the 80’s or 90’s, life was a little simpler and the world just a little smaller.  Our basic needs were met through interpersonal relationships that do not exist today.

Today, with the internet at our finger tips and cable TV, our children have access to information 24/7.  Not all the information is helpful or accurate.  Today, we have an extreme influx of Teens diagnosed with Depression & Anxiety.  Today, we also have a government that feels they are being helpful by making prescriptions free to those under 25 (but we’ll talk about that in a later post).

I recently read an article  by Johann Hari “Is everything you think you know about depression wrong?“**  Hari talks about his search for answers regarding his own clinical diagnosis and comes across some very interesting points to ponder.  The outcome is a new thought process surrounding depression & anxiety – yes there are biological components in some cases that may require medications combined with therapy to over-come, however; there are key factors to how we live today that directly contribute to these diagnosis.

So, let’s compare 1980 to 2018.

 

In the 80’s, kids played outside.  Their friends were physically connected, by streets, school, teams, relations.

Face to face relationships teach us a multitude of skills:

  • Interpersonal skills
  • Social skills
  • Team-work
  • Communication
  • Problem-solving
  • Compromise
  • Accountability
  • Honesty
  • Self-esteem
  • Patience

Physically connecting with people also serves our basic psychological needs of belonging, acceptance and value.  We, as humans need to belong to a group.  We were not designed to be solitary and thus we live in colonies or families and communities.  We need to feel as though we are a valued member of the group; our thoughts, feelings and opinions matter.

It is believed that some diagnosed cases of depression or anxiety are rooted in denying basic psychological needs and thus we have the influx that we are seeing today.  There is also growing research that tells us that technology has the same effect on the brain as heroine or cocaine.  Creating a strong, debilitating addiction.

Creating Stability

If you are depressed and anxious, you are not a machine with malfunctioning parts. You are a human being with unmet needs. The only real way out of our epidemic of despair, is for all of us, together, to begin to meet those human needs – a deep connection, to the things that really matter in life. ~ Johann Hari

If you have a Teen that is struggling, take a look at the broader picture.  Are their basic needs being met? Do they have the skills they need to succeed?  Do they belong to a group?  Do they feel valued?

When one member of the family struggles, the entire family struggles.  I have found that the best way to create stability in the family is to look at the family as a whole.  Raising children today is difficult, I know that.  We are rather quick to point the blame to external forces rather than admit that perhaps we are less than perfect.  There are no perfect parents, but I will tell you, the best ones are the parents who are willing to take a look at themselves to find solutions for their children.  It’s not about what you’re doing wrong, it’s about finding processes that fit your family, and the needs of every individual in your family.

Getting your family back on track may not be a long, complicated process.  We may be able to find solutions and implement processes  that will see dramatic results in as little as 6 weeks.  Together we will explore the processes that work for your family, and through simple conversation, a few fun & engaging games, we will begin to implement strategies that ensure basic needs are met.  We will expand your awareness and allow you to visualize your family’s unlimited possibilities.

Let’s start a conversation.

I’m ready when you are,

Loads of love,

~Andrea

 

Reference:

**Johann Hari 

How Will Coaching Help My Child?

Coaching

How will coaching help my child?

Coaching is a wonderful tool used to improve motivation, remove stuck points and increase productivity.  Coaching is used on a number of different levels from Personal Coaching, Executive Coaching and Sports Coaching, which is the one we are most familiar with.  Just like a baseball or hockey coach, a Success Coach will teach your child the necessary skills to be successful.  I will support, encourage and celebrate successes.

Initial Consultation

I will chat with your child for approximately 30 minutes.  During this time we will get to know one another and assess the working relationship.  This consultation is FREE and can be done over the phone, Zoom or (in London & Middlesex) in person.

We will chat about the ultimate goal, points of frustration and stumbling blocks that your child faces.  I will explain who I am, my experience and how I can help.  If both your child and myself feel that we can build a working relationship, we will schedule Coaching Sessions.

Coaching Sessions

Most clients see marked improvement in a very short time.  3 Sessions are usually enough to get started.  Some clients prefer 6 Sessions to ensure stability and development of new habits.  By the end you should begin to notice:

Improved self-esteem

Ability to let go of limiting beliefs

Natural stress & anxiety reduction

Creative possibilities

Realized self-worth

Visible future

Unlimited potential

Individual Sessions can also be booked for further assistance; planning for a major life event, reducing anxiety, dealing with bullying or any other reason a single session may be beneficial.

I also offer Parent/Caregiver Consultations.  This is an opportunity for Caregivers or Parents to discuss their concerns or goals for their child.  It’s also an excellent opportunity to learn how to continue to support your child once their sessions have ended.

The greatest advantage to coaching is that we do not dwell on past events.  I am more interested in launching a future filled with possibilities.  Through simple conversation, we will discover limiting beliefs and work to eliminate them.  We will create new daily habits that will improve self-esteem, motivation, productivity and create a vibrant future.

Also, Coaching is equally effective both in person or over the phone/Zoom, so if transportation is an issue, we can remove that limiting belief right now.

Booking Sessions

Coaching
Honesty & Accountability

When you click to book your sessions, you will see a variety of options.  I am available to work with your child both in person or via phone/Zoom.  Please ensure you schedule the appropriate sessions.  I have bundled sessions to offer a discounted rate; the more you book, the more you save.   The foundation of my work is Honesty & Accountability.  I will always be on time for sessions, please ensure the same respect.  If we are not meeting in person, the client holds the responsibility to call me.  This is also a necessary life skill, so please encourage your child to follow through with this on their own.

~Andrea

 

 

 

To Our Children;

To Our Children;

In light of all the hatred spread across social media this week, I ask that your voice be louder than those that hate.  Your voice of love and acceptance be the voice that is heard.  By giving the haters a platform, they have won.  Create your own platform.  Stand united in acceptance – race, colour, creed, religion and ability; become one.

I do not follow a specific religion, nor am I political.  I am, however; a person who still believes in the power of love, acceptance, compassion and the human spirit.  I’m not really sure what my message is here, except that Good must triumph of evil – always.  We must learn from past mistakes.  We can do better, because we are better.  We have learned the consequences of inaction & silence.

Stand up against injustices, feed the hungry, dress the poor, house the homeless, educate the  sheltered but above all….teach those that hate to love.

Everyone of us needs a hand at some point, whether its in recovery, financial ruin, loss, disaster or empathy. Help those that do not understand the power of  unconditional love and acceptance.  By hating the hater, we have become haters.  Please do not do this. 

The stage is yours.  As young adults or up & coming adults; today is the day you decide what your future planet looks like.  Is it divided by hatred or is it a world where differences are appreciated and love is nurtured ?

RandomYou can sit idle and hope this just passes, after all it doesn’t really affect you….or you can make a difference; small, simple acts of kindness.

The choice is yours.  What will you do?

Here is a little  John Lennon – Imagine, if you need more inspiration….

Loads of Love

~Andrea

Are You Excited To Go Home Every Night?

Remember When….

…….this relationship first started; full of curiosity, excitement, joy?

……The hopes & dreams that flooded your heart when you first held your child in your arms?

…….You & your partner watched your child achieve all those first milestones; sitting up, holding a bottle, first steps, first tooth, first day of school?

Where did that excitement go?  That feeling of desperately wanting to hang on to a moment and cherish it forever?  Never wanting it to end.  The feeling excitement when you spoke to your best friend about this new adventure, new person, new milestone?  Let’s get that back!! 🙂

Today…

…..you are multitasking meals, work emails, homework, sports, laundry and quickly scanning a blog.  Are you able to offer your full attention to any of them, do you have the  time?

Every member of your family is in a different room, on the internet chatting with friends, responding to emails, checking quotes, playing games,  watching videos, and everyone has 1 thing in common.  Do you want to know what that is…..

Let’s back up….

Remember that feeling the first day you left your tinny toddler at the day care?  Going back to work was something you dreaded for months.  You have to work, but this tiny little creature full of poop & snot somehow brings you so much joy and again, we have a feeling we don’t want to let go of.  We have bills to pay, college to save for and all the toys, sports, clothes that comes with being a parent.  Kids aren’t cheap.  And somewhere down the line, we lost that feeling of excitement.  Somewhere, bills, tantrums and deadlines sucked the excitement out of parenting.

You were so full of joy, it spilled out of you and the whole world knew how happy you were, but now there is barely enough joy to fill your big toe.  The rest of you is filled with stress, frustration, anxiety, worry and expectations.  Now you have teenagers and life is no fun anymore.

I Want YOU To Get Excited About Your Life & Your Family!!!

What’s on your To Do List?

Are you getting everything you possibly can out of LIFE, or is LIFE getting everything it can out of you?

We all have a “To Do” List and most of us have a “Bucket List”.  Which one is more important for you?  What’s on your partner’s wish list?  Do your kids have wish lists?  Start a conversation!!

 

 

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

~Ghandi

Be the change you wish to see in your FAMILY!

~Andrea

I have faith in you!!  Mom to Mom, I know how hard it is to see members of your family struggling.  I understand how incredible hard it is to reach out and ask for the help you need.  There is so much judgement, and we are expected to know how to keep it all together.  I am a Mom and I, too, had a child who struggled.  I spent hours searching the internet for help.  Any piece of wisdom I could grab, and use to make my family better.  From that struggle, I gathered loads of the most useful pieces of information and compiled them together to create a plan to unify my family and all of us  help you create a plan, strategies that will actually work!!!

I know you have the drive, determination & motivation to create positive change in your family and that all of this is fueled by the LOVE you have for each of them.  Get started today.

Reach out with any questions, I’d love to help you stir up some excitement!!!

~Andrea