Core Values

Core Values

Core Values are a person’s principles or standards of behavior; their judgment of what is important in life.

What are your Core Values? How do you figure out what your Core Values are? Why would you even waste your time trying to figure them out?

What are your Core Values? How do you figure out what your Core Values are? Why would you even waste your time trying to figure them out?

You have to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.

~unknown

Those that stand for something, have a level of expectation for themselves and those around them. They believe in things like self-respect, honesty, accountability and compassion, to name a few. Having these beliefs allows you to behave in a way that aligns with them and also practise safe personal boundaries,  choose friends that will inspire and encourage you to be the best you can be.

Those that do not understand their Core Values will fall for anything. Lack of respect for themselves, or others usually results in feeling as though they are a victim because they lack accountability for their actions. They choose the easy, fun friends and skip class, break curfew, miss assignments at school, and feel that life is and always will be a struggle.

Definition
Common Core Values

If your life is a struggle, maybe you need to re-evaluate your what’s truly important. Life presents you with challenges, or life lessons. Some of these lessons are difficult and some of them hurt. But, if you take the time to understand your Core Values, these struggles will start to appear not as struggles, but as lessons. You will begin to learn from them, see where you can make improvements, and slowly step forward.

Core Values are quite simple.

Choose the 10 most important Core Values, from the list below:

  1. Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, life, etc.
  2. Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences
  3. Agency: to choose how I live and behave and help others do likewise; to be self-supportive and choose my own way of doing things.
  4. Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want
  5. Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, and real; to be true to myself
  6. Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture, or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the environment, etc.
  7. Caring: to be caring toward myself, others, the environment, etc.
  8. Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, and improve
  9. Compassion: to act with kindness toward those who are suffering
  10. Conformity: to be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations
  11. Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others
  12. Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others
  13. Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others
  14. Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty
  15. Creativity: to be creative or innovative
  16. Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded, and interested; to explore and discover
  17. Encouragement: to encourage and reward behavior that I value in myself or others
  18. Equality: to treat others as equal to myself, and vice versa
  19. Excitement: to seek, create, and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating, or thrilling
  20. Fairness: to be fair to myself or others
  21. Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and well-being
  22. Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances
  23. Forgiveness: to be forgiving toward myself or others
  24. Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise
  25. Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable toward others
  26. Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities
  27. Generosity: to be generous, sharing, and giving, to myself or others
  28. Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others, and life
  29. Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others
  30. Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves
  31. Humor: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life
  32. Impact: to exert myself into the universe in a way I believe is important. I work for what I want, not what others want from me.
  33. Independence: to be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things
  34. Industry: to be industrious, hard-working, and dedicated
  35. Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself — emotionally or physically — in my close personal relationships
  36. Justice: to uphold justice and fairness
  37. Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing, or caring toward myself or others
  38. Love: to act lovingly or affectionately toward myself or others
  39. Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience
  40. Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from others’ points of view, and weigh evidence fairly
  41. Order: to be orderly and organized
  42. Patience: to wait calmly for what I want
  43. Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties
  44. Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others
  45. Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g., taking charge, leading, organizing
  46. Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking
  47. Respect: to be respectful toward myself or others; to be polite, be considerate, and show positive regard
  48. Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions
  49. Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection
  50. Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others
  51. Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings, and actions
  52. Self-care: to look after my health and well-being, and get my needs met
  53. Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals
  54. Self-development: to keep growing, advancing, or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience.
  55. Sensuality: to create, explore, and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses
  56. Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality
  57. Skillfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully when using them
  58. Soul in the Game: I believe it is an ethical concern that I put my money and time where my mouth is, that I have no divorce between what I preach and my lifestyle. I believe the highest form of ethics is to take on risk for others.
  59. Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself
  60. Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others
  61. Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable
  62. Insert your own value here.

Note: This list was originally sourced from thehappinesstrap.com

Once you have your top 10, use those words to create your own standard of personal ethics, or rules to live by.

Live Your Life on Your Terms

Some mental health issues are a result of trying to live your life by the expectations others have set for you.  By creating your own list of Core Values, you are learning to set your own expectations and create a life you are fully free to live in.  Setting your own standards will reduce anxiety, depression & stress.

What to do with your Core Values

Your new list of Core Values are a list of your rules to live by.

  • Print & post your Values in a place where you will be reminded daily.
  • Refer to your list during times of stress, overwhelm, anxiety or depression.
  • Apply your values to situations you encounter:

Someone at work has spoken about you behind your back.  Usually this would stress you out, anger you or cause you to spiral inwards.  Apply your Core Values:

Acceptance – understand that this person also has a story of grief or shame & is unable to fully accept their own issues.

Forgiveness – forgive the gossip because you are aware of the truth.

Kindness – perhaps this person truly needs a friend

Be Patient

Like anything new, living your life by your own expectations is a little scary and foreign.  It will take time to fully integrate this new practice into your daily life.

If you are struggling with one or more of your values, consider reviewing your list and making some changes.  This is your life & these are your rules; you can rewrite them as often as you need to ensure it reflects exactly who you wish to be.

What’s next?

Congratulations on wanting to create a life on your terms!!  I know (from personal experience) that starting this new chapter can be daunting.  Here are a few additional resources to ensure your success:

  • Journaling – learn to journal your thoughts & life’s events to help you process the information in line with your new Core Values.
  • Teach my Children – teaching your children to set their own core values will go along way to reducing bullying, ensuring future success as well as incorporating valuable coping skills.
  • I need help! – Schedule a very powerful 1 hour chat to discover your authentic self!!  Answer 12 simple questions & experience a life-altering session that will help you uncover your truest self!!
  • I don’t know where to start – choose from a variety of services to help you get started.
  • Find a Tribe of Women on a Mission – Join a group of women on this journey who will support, encourage & empower you to explore the best version of YOU!

I sincerely hope you found value in reading this post.  Please leave a comment below of you Care Values.  We’d love to hear how this helped you.

We wish you success on your new journey.  Please let us know if we can help in any way.  <3

Your Life on Your Terms

To Our Children;

To Our Children;

In light of all the hatred spread across social media this week, I ask that your voice be louder than those that hate.  Your voice of love and acceptance be the voice that is heard.  By giving the haters a platform, they have won.  Create your own platform.  Stand united in acceptance – race, colour, creed, religion and ability; become one.

I do not follow a specific religion, nor am I political.  I am, however; a person who still believes in the power of love, acceptance, compassion and the human spirit.  I’m not really sure what my message is here, except that Good must triumph of evil – always.  We must learn from past mistakes.  We can do better, because we are better.  We have learned the consequences of inaction & silence.

Stand up against injustices, feed the hungry, dress the poor, house the homeless, educate the  sheltered but above all….teach those that hate to love.

Everyone of us needs a hand at some point, whether its in recovery, financial ruin, loss, disaster or empathy. Help those that do not understand the power of  unconditional love and acceptance.  By hating the hater, we have become haters.  Please do not do this. 

The stage is yours.  As young adults or up & coming adults; today is the day you decide what your future planet looks like.  Is it divided by hatred or is it a world where differences are appreciated and love is nurtured ?

RandomYou can sit idle and hope this just passes, after all it doesn’t really affect you….or you can make a difference; small, simple acts of kindness.

The choice is yours.  What will you do?

Here is a little  John Lennon – Imagine, if you need more inspiration….

Loads of Love

~Andrea

Who is Your Hero?

Do you have a Hero?  Someone you look up to?  A target of you would like to be, or what you like to achieve?

We envision a Hero to have huge bulky muscles, wear tights and have a cape the flows in the wind.  And for some of us, Superman, might just fit the description of what we want to achieve in our own lives.  But for most of us, a Hero blends in with the crowd, wears civilian clothes and works hard every day.

I have several Hero’s.  I have a Hero for every hat I wear.  I have my Mom Hero – a woman who taught me that Mom’s are kind, loving, understanding, yet firm with boundaries & expectations.  I have a business Hero – Oprah Winfrey.  There’s a woman who defied the odds and continued to pursue her dreams.  My Coaching Hero – Emma Louise Elsey

My Life Hero, stood 6’2″ tall.  He wore work clothes & steel-toed rubber boots.  He didn’t drive a Maserati, he drove a dirty old pick-up truck, or a tractor and depending on the season, he drove a combine.  He was up every day well before dawn and usually watched the sun set  before his day ended.  He was kind, gentle, caring, dedicated and hard-working.  There wasn’t anything this man could not do.  He was always willing to have us kids “help out”, although I’m sure we weren’t much help at all.  He was exactly the Dad most girls want.  We played, laughed and worked, side-by-side.  He taught me the value of hard-work, dedication and perseverance.  This Hero was my Dad.

The Purpose of a Hero

A Hero gives us a goal.  A level to achieve.  A dream to aspire to.  A Hero allows us to check-in when those difficult decisions come up – What would Oprah do?  How would my Dad handle this?  They give us time to reflect and make rational choices that will move us forward instead of just staying stuck.  A Hero is someone we aspire to be.  Not be exactly like them, just obtain the qualities of their lives that we choose to adapt to our own lives.

I know I will probably never stand beside Oprah in a photo shoot, and that’s ok.  I don’t need to meet her, I just need to follow her. She blazed a trail for so many women!

I also have a list of those I can easily be, but choose NOT to be.  I can be the old me with very negative self-defeating thoughts that take me backwards or leave me stuck.  I can be a Mom who degrades her children because she needs to be the powerhouse.  I can be the victim of abuse, neglect & abandonment.  Every single day, I choose NOT to be this person.  I choose to be better, do better!!  I choose to follow those like Oprah, my Dad & Emma Louise, because following them, will lead me to the places I want to be.  The places I deserve to be.  They will surround me with greatness that will support my growth & my healing.  They will teach me what I need to know to move forward.  They will help me to help others.

I have one other Hero I should mention.

My Hero is a woman 10 years older than I.  She has a very successful Coaching Business, and an amazing self-sufficient passive income that has allowed her husband to retire.  She has children who are all successful in their own rights.  She has time for her grand babies or puppies.  She enjoys her time traveling and creating.  She has a very long list of successful women in her Tribe.  I will get to meet this woman, because she is me, 5 years from now.  I am my own Hero.  I have defied the odds several times and I will do it again, and again.

I can help you defy the odds, too.

So, I ask you, Who is Your Hero?  Who do you strive to be?  Who makes you want to do better, be better?

For a little more inspiration on finding a Hero, watch  Matthew McConaughey’s Best Actor acceptance speech.

Find your Hero, chase your dreams, create your reality!!!

Thank you for sharing this post.  You have offered a little inspiration to someone who needed it!!

Tell me about your Hero in the comments below.   Who is it?  Why did you choose that person?  

Send me a quick email if you are struggling to find your Hero.

Boredom is actually good for your kids!

Boredom is good!! 

Boredom teaches some of the most valuable skills we will ever use In life. Parents are afraid of letting their kids be bored.  But why?  Why the need to have them occupied every minute of every day?

“Mommy, I’m bored.”

When I was a kid, those were 3 words that never fell out of our mouths.  Mom’s response was usually to occupy us with some horrible chore, scrubbing the bathroom floor, cleaning out the cupboards or weeding flower beds.   We very quickly learned that it was going to be much more fun to occupy ourselves.  We climbed trees, invented imaginary friends, played with real friends, rode our bikes and usually got quite dirty.  BUT, we weren’t scrubbing floors.

I always thought it was horrible of my mother to expect us to do such horrible tasks when we were so little.  I vowed that I would never ask my kids to do such terrible things.

Then I became a Mom and I heard “Mom, I’m bored”.  I think it was the only thing my kids knew how to say.  It was their go to response for everything!  Suddenly, I hear myself saying, “Go find something to do, or I will find you something to do”, and they were off like a shot and I had become my mother…

Here’s the thing about boredom;

Boredom teaches us amazing things.

  • Problem-solving skills – I needed to NOT scrub floors, so I solved that problem by climbing trees.
  • Self-awareness – when I was little, scrubbing floors reminded me of Cinderella.  I knew we did not live in a land of magical Princes and I was not going to be rescued, so I was not going to start a life of scrubbing floors.
  • Decision-making Skills – I didn’t like the choices my mother had for me, so I decided to make some choices for myself.
  • Creative Thinking – My sister & I built forts, climbed trees, and pretended we had lovely little prefect lives.  We had careers, husbands, and mansions in the trees.  We were creative and we had huge, endless imaginations when we were little, that guided us through the rest of our lives.

Smart Phones

Addicition
Find ways to Digitally Detox your home.

Today, kids are glued to some sort of device from a very early age.  I see toddlers playing games of phones while they wait in line at the grocery store.  Electronic games do not allow you to develop these skills as effectively.  There is always a button that gives you further instruction.  They enter an imaginary world that is completely designed for them, they don’t get to make any choices or creatively influence the story.  They just follow along like little sheep.  There are several games that promote creativity, problem-solving or decision-making, but they are not designed for real world issues.  My sister & I created our imaginary world from the world we actually lived in.  We chose the parts of life we liked and inserted them into our imagination and we corrected the parts we didn’t like.  Skills we still use today.

Guide to Introducing Technology and other handy resources here.

The greatest skills our children are lacking:

  • Interpersonal Relationships – When my sister & I fought (and we fought a lot), we learned quite early that it was best for us to settle our differences, because Mom’s solution was not going to be fun.  So we taught ourselves to compromise, to reason, to be fair and to apologize.
  • Effective Communication – In our tiny little, perfect, imaginary worlds, we still had needs.  There were no adults there (because we didn’t want them), so we had to learn to use our words, to say what we needed, and say it in a way that was polite and respectful.
  • Empathy – One day, when we were in our imaginary world’s, I slipped and fell out of the tree, hitting my head on a rock.  I don’t remember a lot about that, but I do remember watching as my sister suddenly had super-human speed & strength.  She was out of her tree, beside me, helping me up and screaming for Mom or Dad all in the blink of an eye.  She was my Hero that day.  She never left my side, sitting there, right beside me as the doctor stitched my head back together.  She was there holding my hand.  She was there for the next few days as we moved our imaginary worlds a little closer to the ground (problem-solving & creative thinking).  I knew she felt bad, even though none of it was her fault.
  • Managing feelings/Emotions –  I think the worst sin was to swear at either of my parents.  Yes, they made me angry.  The expectation was, that I would use some of my Effective Communication skills to try to manage my anger and respectfully state my case.  I developed quite a skill and still use it today.
  • Dealing with stress – kids have all kinds of stresses in the real world.  We learned to deal with it in our imaginary worlds.

positive parenting
Natural Consequences

I think the most important skill is Critical Thinking.  Critical thinking is what allows us to learn from our mistakes.  Take all of the skills we have learned and apply them to create solutions.  Allowing children to experience Natural Consequences is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.  We have all had that argument about wearing a coat.  Some days you just have to let them figure it out by themselves.   I will write another post about Natural Consequences later (it’s a topic all by itself).

So, in short, unplug your kids.  Let them be bored.  Let them get dirty.  Let them run, play, create, believe, argue, fall and scrape a knee.  Let them be kids, but most importantly; let them learn.

Loads of love

~Andrea